How stress shows up in children and what parents can do

Stress Awareness Month is a great opportunity to start conversations many families overlook. Children face pressures from school, social situations, changes at home and even things they see in the world around them. Because kids are still developing emotionally, they may not say “I’m overwhelmed” or “I’m anxious.”

Instead, their stress may show up as mood changes, sleep problems or frequent complaints of physical discomfort. When parents know what to watch for, they can recognize signs of stress early and take action before symptoms grow more severe.

Adults tend to talk about anxiety. They may describe racing thoughts, feeling tense or having trouble concentrating.

Children are more likely to show anxiety than talk about it. A stressed child might be irritable, overly emotional, clingy or withdrawn. Some children act out, while others become unusually quiet. Many kids experience physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches, especially when stress is ongoing.

Children are not trying to be difficult. Often, they simply do not have the language to explain what they are feeling inside.

• Stress in children can look like everyday behavior, which is why it is sometimes overlooked. Common signs include:
• Changes in sleep, such as trouble falling asleep, nightmares or wanting to sleep in a parent’s room
• Avoidance behaviors like refusing school, activities or social events they once enjoyed
• Increased irritability, tantrums or emotional outbursts
• Regression in younger children, including bedwetting, baby talk or extra clinginess
• Difficulty concentrating, which is sometimes mistaken for ADHD
• Perfectionism and strong reactions to small mistakes
• These behaviors are often seen as discipline issues, but they can be a child’s way of communicating emotional distress.

Children’s bodies often speak when their words cannot. Stress and anxiety may cause:

• Frequent stomachaches or nausea
• Headaches
• Rapid heartbeat or fast breathing
• Muscle tension
• Fatigue
• Changes in appetite

If these symptoms occur regularly and do not have a clear medical cause, stress or anxiety may be contributing.

Parents do not need special training to help their child feel more secure and grounded. Small, consistent steps at home can make a meaningful difference.

Helpful strategies include:

• Keeping predictable routines to give children a sense of safety
• Building in daily screen free time for calm connection
• Practicing deep breathing or relaxation exercises together
• Asking open ended questions like “What made your tummy feel funny today?”
• Modeling calm responses, since children mirror adult behavior
• Prioritizing adequate sleep, which plays a major role in emotional regulation
• Creating a calming space with comforting items like books, stuffed animals or soft lighting

Even small changes can help reduce stress and promote emotional resilience.